Perfect in my Mind

Perfect in my Mind

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sometimes, I'm a hater.

I don't want to be a dark cloud.  Generally, I aim to have a sunny disposition, and a positive outlook on life.  However, I think we all have days when it just rains.  When nothing about who we are seems to measure up with with who {or what} we want to be. I'll admit, in a lot of areas I am a perfectionist.  I have a tendency to be hard on myself.  My greatest fear is that I am inadequate.

Today has been one of those days.

Today I let an unflattering photo tell me I am fat and unattractive.  As I type this, I realize I sound absolutely irrational. But, I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not alone in this mindset.

Why are we so hard on ourselves?  Why do we allow ourselves to become so fixated on our perceived flaws?  Why don't we just embrace who we are, and love what we look  like?

I have found a few culprits:

  1. Did you know that in the modeling industry,  anything above a size four is considered "plus sized"?  
This sickens me.  A size four in a department store is often labeled "small".  Yet, society tells us that if we don't wear a size four, or smaller, we are plus sized.  Even the label "plus size" is less than flattering.  I think "real" would be more accurate--considering the average size for American women is a  14.  

    2.  Photoshop.  

We are constantly bombarded with photos of flawless women.  Real women don't look like the women we see plastered on magazine covers and ad campaigns.  I remember Jennifer Aniston was on a cover of some magazine a few years back, and commented "I don't even look like that!"  We are setting ourselves up  for  failure when we compare ourselves to unrealistic, unattainable beauty.

Lastly

   3.  Ourselves.

As much as I want to blame the media, or technology for my personal insecurities--personal is exactly what they are.  I have the power to love me  for me.  It's all in my hands.  This is something I have struggled with for years.  There was a time in my life when I cried at the thought of leaving the house.  I was afraid people around me would think I was ugly.  I hate that my most powerful enemy is myself.  But, at  the same time,  it's sort of empowering.  Change is in my hands.

I  challenge  you all to  write ten things you love about yourself.  Whether you have awesome eyelashes, or you can rock it out on the piano--write it out.  Look at it when you're having a crappy day.

I'll start.
  1. I am a good cook.  I haven't made anything disgusting yet.
  2. I can sing pretty well.  
  3. I love people.  Sometimes I don't even know a person, but I feel love towards them.
  4. I think my eyes are pretty.
  5. I can  express myself articulately.
  6. I have gained a strong testimony in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.
  7. I am compassionate.
  8. I am a devoted wife.
  9. I have a desire to achieve great things.
  10. I have nice penmanship.
That was actually really hard.  I got stuck after six for awhile.  I do feel like  it is valuable to do, though.  And I wanna hear what you love about you!

5 comments:

Papa said...

Chelsea, there are too many positive things to say about you, but I would definitely add, great daughter-in-law to your list and I'm sure your parents would say the same thing about your daughtership to them.

What a nice idea for a blog entry. I hope many of your friends and family follow it. It is so hard to compliment yourself without feeling haughty or self-absorbed. But we all can use a little self-assurance by seeing the good things we are and the good we do.

Nathan and Kristen said...

Beautiful Post! Love it! Love you! you are fabulous!

Kelsey said...

Chelsea you are such a beautiful girl. I really struggle with the same thing and you took the words right out of my mouth of how I feel.
Thanks for being such an example to me and helping me to understand that I really am beautiful. :)

tifsong said...

oh i just LOVE this.
i'm going to do it.

soon!

tifsong said...

p.s. thank you for all the nice things you always say about me and to me in my blogworld.

you are truly stunning.
i hope you're more aware of that.

tif