Perfect in my Mind

Perfect in my Mind

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Single Ladies, Eat your Hearts Out

There are some people who you just instantly "click" with.  People who you meet, and immediately know that they are going to be in your life for a long time.  Maybe forever.  For me, Sam Taylor is one of those people.  So, duh . . . it's only fitting that I would introduce him to you, my blogging (and real life) friends.

Sam was one of my very best friends in college *ahem* University.  Prior to getting married, if I was hanging out with anyone, 99% of the time Sam would be involved.  During a few of the 1% of the social outings minus Sam, I would get questions like "Where is your brother?" After being confused for a second I would tell them exactly where Sam was.  Because I always knew.  

Sam and Chelsea photo SamandChelsea_zps37cbe21c.jpg

Now Sam attends graduate school in Texas and we don't really see each other ever.  Sad, right?  Well.  We both have blogs, and keep a pretty close tab on the other's life.  I was thinking maybe some of you would want to marry him, so I told him to come find a wife on my blog.  

Single ladies . . . I present to you, Samuel Hardman Taylor.

***

You could describe me as unlucky in love. You could call me unlucky in kissing, cuddling, and hand holding.  You could describe me as unlucky in crushing even. You could also replace the word unlucky in all the previous sentences with "never happens." Never. I am practically a widower. The only relationship I have been in is with Beyonce. When I broke my foot dancing to Single Ladies, it kind of put a damper on our perfect relationship. I lost trust in her. Had to cut the ties before things got messy.

Yep, Sammy Boy is very single.

I know Honey Boo Boo's mother is in a relationship, and I am not. Thanks for rubbing it in frankly. I mean I am not desperate or anything, but the fact remains I am probably the only person who studies romantic relationships in graduate school but has no personal examples to provide.

I had to evaluate my situation of to figure out why the ladies do not throw themselves at me, but people like extra creepers are able to land themselves a significant other. I shower. I am educated. I have a job. I don't live in my parent's basement. I don't think I have any disgusting habits, unless you think flossing regularly is disgusting. My whole dating life is just one hella epic fail.

All arrows point to the fact that I should be open to the dating marketing and a way steamy hot .

Then I figured it out. I don't have a resume. I don't expect to get a job without a job resume, how can I expect to get a date without a dating resume.



Then I realized, I am not actually ready for an actual girlfriend. I could use a blogging girlfriend though. You know someone to have completing posts with and earn husband and wife potential points with.

Now the question becomes, am I qualified for the job?

I am accepting job posting on my blog: Taylored

Sincerely,

Your Future Blogging Boyfriend?

P.S. Here is a picture of me holding a baby.


12 comments:

Alexis Kaye said...

The resume is hilarious

LaynahRose said...

Best resume ever. I'm actually pretty impressed haha

AllAboutLife said...

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Deveny said...

hahaha, awesome resume. Although note for him, even if a woman looks fat - NEVER tell her that. haha

Elisabeth @ Imma Walking Fashion Crime said...

I'll be his blogging girlfriend.

Brooklyn McKenna said...

HAHAHAHA I am dying. That was the best thing I've ever read in my life. Strangest thing is I JUST found his blog yesterday on Elise's Pieces! I told Elisabeth that I called dibs ;)

Elisabeth @ Imma Walking Fashion Crime said...

Nope. Got here first, sucka! :)

nate and amy crandell said...

What a CUTE blog you have! Haha love the resume, so so funny!

Everyday Love said...

I think I just fell in love. haha I don't know many guys who floss AND make me laugh. The part that got me, "No. I don't want no scrub." <3

MicheleBryant said...

Sam,Your future bride will be one lucky lady!

MicheleBryant said...

Sam,Your future bride will be one lucky lady!

Damla Coskun said...

totally digging this!