Perfect in my Mind

Perfect in my Mind

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Top 5 Worst TV Characters . . . Ever.

Rarely do I have conversations with my siblings that would make sense to an eavesdropper   Like, if someone were to tap my phone when I talk with my sister or brother, they would probably just hang up. The other day, my sister and I somehow got onto the topic of television's most annoying characters, and we have been texting about it ever since.  We have come to find that even the best television shows fall victim to the curse of an annoying character.  Here are my top 5 most annoying television characters of all time:

5.  Gus Griswald from Recess 

I love nerds, don't get me wrong.  I've never had a problem with anyone who cared a little too much about calculus or Russian novelists.  In fact, I encourage that kind of behavior.  I'm not going to judge you on how you spend your free time.  Do you have an abacus?  Fine with me.  Oh, you collect Yu Gi Oh cards?  That's totally cool.  However, there is one thing in this world I absolutely hate and that is a wet blanket. Gus Griswald is the Peter Pettigrew of his gang.  He is a class "A", panty-waisted stick in the mud wears a little too much hair product and clearly needs to see an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist for his sinus issues.  Get it together, Gus.  Take a walk on the wild side.  Unbutton that top button.  And, for crying out loud . . . blow your nose.

4.  Brian Krakow from My So Called Life.
My So Called Life has taught me a lot of useful things.  Angela Chase taught me that "like" should be used at least one time per sentence and that dying your blonde hair red is usually a bad idea. Rayanne Graff taught me that it's only funny until someone gets their stomach pumped.  And Brian Krakow?  Well, he taught me that you should never trust a man with a middle part.  Brian Krakow's middle part did a whole lot of creepin' in My So Called Life. By the end of that series, Krakow probably earned 5,000 stalker points.  Like, I'm pretty sure if Brian Krakow's yearbook editors knew about some of his "extra-circular" filming activities he'd totally get canned.

3.  Kenny Bania from Seinfeld

So maybe I'm two decades late to the party, but Seinfeld is some kind of genius.  Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, George . . . even Newman--they're all gold in my book.  But there is one character on Seinfeld that makes my skin crawl . . . and his name is Kenny Bania. I'm pretty sure the creator of Seinfeld took everything he hates about people and combined them to make the most irritating human possible.  Kenny Bania is the kind of guy who can't work out without Tweeting about it. He pretends he's doing you a favor just so you'll buy him a dinner. He thinks the word "puke" is comedy brilliance.  Kenny is that guy who could literally kill you with kindness.  And then he'd bring you back to life and coerce you into buying him a meal.

2.  Kimmy Gibbler from Full House
Growing up, Full House was my favorite television show ever.  At one point in my life, I legitimately thought I was an Olsen twin.  If it wasn't for one unfortunate character, I probably would have petitioned Danny Tanner to make me an official member of the family.  However, Kimmy Gibbler ruined this fantasy for me.  I don't have a problem with Kimmy Gibbler's neon printed, pattern mixing, horizontal stripe adorned outfits.  I mean, I probably should . . . but I just don't.  I don't even mind her catch phrase:  "Hola Tanneritos!"  What I do have a problem with is her stinky feet. Girlfriend, get some odor eaters.  Wear socks.  Anything . . . just don't take off your shoes.  Gibbler earned the many sassy "Go home, Kimmy" 's that she got just by taking off those black clogs.

1.  Screech from Saved by the Bell.
To be fair, I feel like you can't be expected to live a socially fulfilling life when you have the disadvantage of being named "Screech".  To have a name reminiscent of nails on the chalkboard is an automatic disservice to your social calendar.  However, I have seen a few people fight uphill battles and come out of them as prom queen.  I mean, we're talking head-gear, back braces, and masking taped glasses turned into hair extensions and Prada.  Screech, you don't have to be a victim of your unfortunate name!  Take some of Lisa's advice, and get real with yourself.  I mean, you have Zach Morris as your guide!  You have no excuse for your creep y behavior and mismatched sweat pant-button up combos.

Who is your least favorite TV character of all time?  Did I miss anyone?


Heidi said...

Is it creepy that you literally just commented on my blog, and I'm already stalking yours? I'm not even sorry, because I love your blog, and wish I had found it sooner!

And I agree, Kimmie and Screech are the WORST. Like, just thinking about how awkward and uncomfortable they are gives me anxiety, because I'm crazy like that.

from head 2 toe said...

I'm gonna say this, and let you remember.....


Alexis Kaye said...

your my favorite. First, I agree 100% with Kimmy Gibbler and Gus Griswold.

Okay, this little tidbit will make you love me forever. So once upon a time I watched this show called celebrity fit club. Your #1 annoying (screech) was on it. Holy crap. He grew up into a fat, miserable, sex-crazed jerk! He seriously made enemies with everyone in the house, including me. So maybe this would be acceptable if his real life name is screech, but it's not.

katilda said...

Haha it's true what Alexis said -- Screech got scandalous in his older age! Overcompensating, maybe?? But I love this list. And while I do love the Olsen twins, I could never get on board with their character in Full House. Michelle whined a lot and always got her way. Boooo.

Jenna said...

AMEN about Kimmy Gibler! I can't stand her!

Being a mom, I have the privilege of tapping into a whole new realm of television annoyingness: kids' shows. One word: Caillou. Just Google the name to see all the message boards, blogs and comments talking about how FRACKING ANNOYING that kid is.

Lauren Budge said...

I'm going to have to add Minkus from Boy Meets World.. I mean that kid... come on...

Elyse Beard said...

Dude, I am so with you on Kenny bania! Seriously, he is the worst.

You know who I absolutely hate? Janis from Friends. She is literally the most annoying person ever!

Annette said...

Cupcake wars is fun to watch but the host is LAME in my book. Not really a "TV character" but he came to mind.

Arielle-HumblePieVintage said...

haha Gus Griswald is the worst. I LOVE Recess. Like an unhealthy amount.
Gus is just one of those annoying characters that always slows the group down and messes stuff up. I guess every cast needs one of those guys though.