Thoughts on Blogging.

So, I was just looking at my leetle "Ramblings from the Past" sidebar, and I noticed that I've written less than twenty blog posts in the last four months.  To some people that wouldn't be a big deal.  Some people update every month, or every few months, and that is fine.  But, for me, blogging has been a more consistent hobby.  This summer I updated almost every day.

For awhile I said I was too busy with school to blog.  And you know what?  That was partially true.  Some days I would be at school from 9am to roughly 9pm.  Even on Saturday's I had school.  For a few months there I basically just lived and breathed school.  When I wasn't at school, all I really wanted to do was spend time with my family and my husband.  But I've been done with my crazy schedule for a few weeks now, and I've still had a really hard time getting into updating regularly. 

I think that the internet is a really beautiful thing in a lot of ways.  Through this blog I've been able to make friends with people all over the United States.  Sometimes I even get recognized on campus or at the grocery store (I live in a tiny town).  These things make me feel good about myself.  However, there is a negative side to this, too. 

When I was blogging more frequently, I spent more time reading other blogs.  I spent more time comparing myself to other people. 

I spent more time wishing I dressed more like her.

I found myself wanting to be funny like her.

I wanted to be able to decorate my house like she does.

And be as creative in the kitchen as she is.

I wanted to be able to sew as well as she does.

And write in a beautifully descriptive way like her.

I soon found myself focusing on who I wasn't instead of being grateful for who I am.  I held myself to an unattainable standard, and felt myself beoming incomplacent. 

So, I took a break. 

I decided that I love writing down my thoughts.  I love having blog friends.  I love getting updates on my virtual friends, and having them comment on my life, too.  I don't want to stop doing this.  I just need to stop comparing myself.  Which is way easier said than done.

During my little break I did a lot of thinking.  In some ways, I think blogging has gotten a little silly.  People are so focused on how many followers they have, and how many hits their site gets a day.  I get so many comments on this blog that mean basically nothing.  Spam, self-promotion, and "Luv ur blog!!  Follow me and I'll follow you!"  I don't even know what people are trying to accomplish by this. 

I want to be real with you guys, and I want you to be real with me.  I'm not perfect, and while I may think some of you are, I need to remember that you're probably not.  At the core, we've all got things we wish we could change.  Parts of us that we don't like.  Parts of us that we are happy to share.

I think I just need some balance. 

So balance, I will.