Perfect in my Mind

Perfect in my Mind

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Thoughts on Blogging.

So, I was just looking at my leetle "Ramblings from the Past" sidebar, and I noticed that I've written less than twenty blog posts in the last four months.  To some people that wouldn't be a big deal.  Some people update every month, or every few months, and that is fine.  But, for me, blogging has been a more consistent hobby.  This summer I updated almost every day.

For awhile I said I was too busy with school to blog.  And you know what?  That was partially true.  Some days I would be at school from 9am to roughly 9pm.  Even on Saturday's I had school.  For a few months there I basically just lived and breathed school.  When I wasn't at school, all I really wanted to do was spend time with my family and my husband.  But I've been done with my crazy schedule for a few weeks now, and I've still had a really hard time getting into updating regularly. 

I think that the internet is a really beautiful thing in a lot of ways.  Through this blog I've been able to make friends with people all over the United States.  Sometimes I even get recognized on campus or at the grocery store (I live in a tiny town).  These things make me feel good about myself.  However, there is a negative side to this, too. 

When I was blogging more frequently, I spent more time reading other blogs.  I spent more time comparing myself to other people. 

I spent more time wishing I dressed more like her.
I found myself wanting to be funny like her.
I wanted to be able to decorate my house like she does.
And be as creative in the kitchen as she is.
I wanted to be able to sew as well as she does.
And write in a beautifully descriptive way like her.

I soon found myself focusing on who I wasn't instead of being grateful for who I am.  I held myself to an unattainable standard, and felt myself beoming incomplacent. 

So, I took a break. 

I decided that I love writing down my thoughts.  I love having blog friends.  I love getting updates on my virtual friends, and having them comment on my life, too.  I don't want to stop doing this.  I just need to stop comparing myself.  Which is way easier said than done.

During my little break I did a lot of thinking.  In some ways, I think blogging has gotten a little silly.  People are so focused on how many followers they have, and how many hits their site gets a day.  I get so many comments on this blog that mean basically nothing.  Spam, self-promotion, and "Luv ur blog!!  Follow me and I'll follow you!"  I don't even know what people are trying to accomplish by this. 

I want to be real with you guys, and I want you to be real with me.  I'm not perfect, and while I may think some of you are, I need to remember that you're probably not.  At the core, we've all got things we wish we could change.  Parts of us that we don't like.  Parts of us that we are happy to share.

I think I just need some balance. 

So balance, I will.


Jess said...

I think we all start blogging as a way to help us figure ourselves out and then we ended up thinking we should be more like some other blogger because they have more followers or more comments on their blog. Or mostly their is just something that we really like about them that we wish we could be. But we forget that we put a certain persona of ourselves to everyone else.
I hope you get back to blogging regularly again. However that might be. Just try to remember to be you and only you. We will love you even more for it.

Arielle said...

I think everyone feels the same way, even those girls. I know I feel like that when I read a lot of those people's blogs but I dress how I dress and that's okay. I don't love to dress up everywhere I go, I can't afford to decorate as much as I'd like to, and I don't go on as many "adventures" as some people but hey whatever, it's my blog, I'm going to be me no matter what and they're going to be them no matter what, so just love and rock who you already are.


Deveny said...

Heck yes - thank you! One of the reasons I love your blog was you WEREN'T like those other blogs. Where it seems pointless to even comment when there are 1,521 comments before mine. That you weren't one of those bloggers that every other day was promoting some inane product because we all knew you were getting paid for it. That it's obvious you're not looking for compliments.

Blog when you want to and don't for a second feel bad if you don't - that's what I do. :)

hopelds said...

Comparing ourselves to others never, EVER helps, and I'm glad that you are aware of yourself doing it.

I like reading your blogs, but hopefully you are not doing it for me - you are doing this for yourself, to help sort your feelings and thoughts, and give yourself some perspective as you look back over your blogs.

Give yourself some space, but it you're not enjoying this, don't feel guilty about not writing!

You're a great person either way.

Lara said...

Amen sister! We women can be so complicated. I seriously bet male bloggers don't have this problem!

And I have had to take a major bloggy break this past year...I still blog for me, but I have virtually stopped reading and commenting on other blogs. Yes, my hits and comments have gone way down, but I don't much care and it is freeing.

And please don't take this as blog promotion, but I think I wrote this exact post a couple years ago...True to Me

It really is nice to know we all feel this way, and it's good to learn from each other how to strike a balance. I still struggle with the balance thing, and probably always will.

I love your blog, keep writing, when you can. But spend more time with your family. That's even better.

simply megan. said...

This is such a needed and refreshing post!!

I agree with you and have found myself like you struggling with this.

When you see other girls and think to yourself, man I wish I could be more like her. I know I do it! I wish I didn't though. But I've been working at taking all of that and trying to let it inspire me.

For me I speak a lot with photos and less words. But let me say your writing speaks to me! I always love reading your posts :)

But you need to know when to step back, and it's an oddly wonderful thing that you're realizing this

I have dry peroids with my blog as well.

Do what feels natural and inspiring :))))

And I agree, now it seems more like a popularity contest then anything. When it comes down to all that matters is that you are writing for you :)

tifsong said...

i really love you.

Kaycie- Redhead Memories said...

You're right on, girl. Blogging has its pros and cons. I'm with you in the challenge to not compare ourselves :). Also, let's be real life friends.

Dyana said...

Love you, lady. Love this post.

There are quite a few blogs that can lead one to believe the blogger's entire lives are as witty, pretty, and well organized as their blog (also as well organized as that last sentence. I should start a blog called Witty and Pretty. I diverge.)

Thanks for keepin' it real, yo.
But seriously-
Thanks for being honest (, yo).

patience said...

a lot of what you say makes sense. but i just concentrate on how the internet, and the blogging community is a beautiful thing. because i truly do believe that!

Kylie said...

Well said! I find myself needing to find a balance sometimes too. It is a slow process, but well worth it I think. I'm glad to have you back though. Missed you :)

Ryan Adair said...

I found myself doing a lot of the same things. But then I realized that I really would rather just be me, and that 1/2 of the girls I was comparing myself to, aren't the kinds of people I care to be in the first place because above having a cool blog, I've noticed a lot of Cliquey-ness, which at first makes you want to be in the club, wake up, smell the coffee and realize you are awesome with no followers, 10, 20, or no blog at all. :)

I adore your blog because you keep it real!

Ryan @ Thismustbetheplaceryan

Sean Marie said...

I love that you're so honest with yourself and the world. Know that lots of people admire YOU and wish they could be as open and beautiful. :)

Natalie said...

I can totally relate to this post. I have been gone from blogging since the end of November and while I love blogging it was a nice break. I had so much going on in my life that I didn't feel like I could be honest about myself. I didn't want to write and pretend that all was good in my life on my blog, when in reality there was a lot going on and I was a mess. So, I took a break. And I am really glad that I did. I didn't realize how much I was comparing myself and my blog to others. It really takes a toll on you and your opinion of yourself. Now that I am back {as of yesterday}, I am hoping that I can keep those things in mind and not let myself get carried away. Thanks for your honesty! :)