Haters Gonna Hate

I've let people tear me  down.  I've let myself believe negative things that people have said or done to me.  I've let myself believe that I am less than I am.

• Last week a volunteer at my work said, "You're about 35, aren't you?"  I laughed, thinking he was joking, but as the conversation progressed, it was clear that he really thought I was that old.  After I told him that I am actually 21, he looked at me really closely and said, "Oh, I should have known.  When you turn 21 you begin to wrinkle around your eyes.  I can see that you're starting to wrinkle around there, too." (Kind of ironic, considering what I posted here)

• A few days after that, I went to get my hair colored and cut.  The hairstylist I patroned decided that she would try to make me feel insecure in an effort for me to consider getting more things done.  She mentioned that my eyebrows needed work, and that the service I wanted on my hair might not be enough to make my hair look good.  I kind of brushed it off, but what she said about my eyebrows stayed with me.  After much coaxing, she convinced me to get my eyebrows waxed.  When she went to actually wax my eyebrows, she said, "I notice that you have some acne.  I can't wax around your blemishes."  Throughout the remainder of my appointment, she continued to talk about my skin.  I came into the appointment thinking I looked pretty.  I left feeling more insecure that I had felt in awhile. 

• During a class I recently attended, I decided to comment.  It was really hard for me to do this, because most of the women in my ward are older, and have the most beautiful things to say.  I was afraid I would say something insignificant--but I proceeded to share my thoughts.  After I said what I had been  prompted to say, a woman behind me raised her hand and said  that what I had said was against what she believed.  She made everything I had painstakingly shared sound illegitimate.  I felt like an idiot.

(pardon my rant)

I was really letting all of this get me down.  I could feel myself becoming a shadow of the Chelsea I had been even a week ago.  This scared me.  But, as I really thought about it, I realized that there is always going to be someone out there who doesn't think I'm awesome.  Unkind words and actions will always exist, and there is nothing I can do about it.  I cannot control what people say or think about me.  But, I can control how I react to it.  

This is real, people:

And that's the way it's always gonna be.