I am feeling completely apathetic towards my final projects this semester.
It's so strange--last semester, I was freaking out during finals. Really. Freaking. And I had half the pile I have now.
For example, in twenty four hours, I have two ten page research papers due. How much of those papers have I actually done? Hmm. About five pages. There's more--but I'll save myself the the humiliation of admitting how great I've become at procrastination.
It's not a lack of time. It's a lack of priority. Right now I can't focus on anything. My mind has been captured in a cloud of stress and worry. My clarity has been held captive by distractions.
Writing is both my favorite and least favorite thing. If I never had a specific topic to write on, I could write all day. It would probably be worthless to many, but it would be fun. When a professor assigns a topic for me to write about, I freeze. I suddenly draw a blank, and am unable to focus on the task at hand.
It friggin' sucks.
I need a babysitter. Someone who says, "Chels--it's time to do your homework. Stop fussing with the house. Stop checking your blog. Focus, girl."
Mista T. doesn't make for a very good sitter. He says more appealing things like, "Chels--it's time to cuddle up on the couch and watch L.A. Ink."